We’ve all had emotional wounds in our lives, haven’t we? Sometimes they are self-inflicted, when we do something we later regret or make a decision that doesn’t end up the way we hoped. Other times it is others who inflict emotional wounds on us.
However it happened, we’re all hurt. And there’s something important we all need to do with our wounds: close them. They can’t heal if we don’t. Here are 4 ways to heal emotional wounds.
1. Decide not to dwell on it.
One way to allow “infection” to develop in an emotional wound is to fixate on it. Standing on it keeps the wound feeling fresh, which slows healing. Wounds need our attention – we need to take care of them and do whatever it takes to make them heal. But if we focus only on the wound, we neglect things that promote healing, such as our relationships with people who support us and activities that help heal emotional wounds by restoring our spiritual, emotional, and other health.
2. Decide not to use it against the person who hurt you.
Constantly reminding others of what they did to hurt you is like refusing first aid. Ensuring whoever is responsible sees the wound often may feel like justice, but you’re actually delaying the healing process, which isn’t fair to you. Moreover, by using past wrongs as a weapon, or by repeatedly punishing others for past wrongs, you don’t just feel pain. You also cause it to others.
3. Decide not to talk about it with others.
The second worst thing after reminding someone of a mistake they made is talking about it with someone else who will listen. Yes, you should discuss and try to heal emotional wounds with people who can help, such as licensed counselors, your pastor, or a trusted mentor. But if we make it a habit to tell everyone how badly someone else messed up, we not only gossip, but we give others reason to fear that we will do the same if they make a mistake.
4. Decide to forgive.
The key to closure is forgiveness. And forgiveness is not about changing the past. It’s about changing the future. When you truly forgive someone, you make the decision to let go, embrace, forgive, and grow. Letting go is giving your heart the freedom to focus on other things. And embracing is giving your relationship hope for a better future. To forgive is to set yourself and the offender free not to be held captive by the hurt of the past, even as you admit how wrong it may have been. Doing these things will help you grow. Forgiveness lessens the power a wound has over you, but it won’t happen unless you choose it.
What other things can a person do to heal emotional wounds? Share in a comment.